1. DON'T pick for your main profile photo a shot of you wearing camouflage, holding a rifle, and standing in front of a curtain in what looks like a semi finished basement. I am going to assume that your first two eHarmony matches are chained up behind the curtain.
2. DON'T say that you are looking for someone to teach you how to trust. You simply mean you are looking for someone to pay for what SHE did to you.
3. DON'T get on eHarmony if you're not divorced yet.
4. DON'T classify yourself in the body type section as "needs to lose a few" if you are 75 pounds overweight. 75 is not a few. 8 is a few.
5. DON'T say you want kids because you think that's what women want to hear. If I see you want to breed, I DELETE YOU. I already have bladder control issues on a trampoline. No more people need to live in this body with me ever again.
More to come. I am learning so much. I may never fall in love again but I will always be here to irritate those who try!
